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Exam period yet again!

And for once, thus far, I am not terribly, terribly stressed.

This is not normal. I should be a crying, anxious, paranoid, 'OH EM GEE I AM GOING TO FAIL' wreck.

Maybe it will come next week or something. I feel a lot more prepared for the workload this time around, even though it's been significantly more than what I had last year.

I feel entirely more prepared, despite having not even started thinking about the set paper for one of my modules.

But, as usual, I have let thoughts of my birthday elude me. I'm getting a bit old to be looking forward to birthdays anyway, but still. I dunno. I enjoy the presents and slightly more attention than usual when it's here, but in the run up I'm just not bothered the way I used to be. Could I be... growing up?!

I don't really wanna be twenty. Just because it sounds awfully grown up and I've realised that no matter how old you get, you'll always be treated as a child by just enough people to make you feel so. But I will no longer be a teenager, and not having the excuse of being a moody teenager is going to reveal my true temperament to the world - That I am a moody bitch :) 

I can legally do everything I want to in my own country. Birthdays aren't that big a deal anymore. I dread turning 21, in fact - I don't feel comfortable in big groups and I don't want a big party with everyone I know there. Boring, but I prefer a more low-key affair than having people scream my age from the rooftops and post baby pictures of me everywhere.

Wow, this post sure digressed fast.

I tihnk one of the reasons why I feel so happy recently, and so not-worried is partially because things are going far better with my boyfriend than they ever have been, in the year we've been together. That's awesome in itself. Not to mention he is spoiling me on a regular basis. Of course, my paranoia means that I am convinced he is trying to cover a guilty conscience, but deep down I recognise this to just be a stupid, stupid thought. I am going to deeply miss him when I am in South Korea in July. Still, he may be in Hong Kong whilst I am there, which is far closer by than England and Hong Kong, after all. So that will be one comfort.

Absence truly does make the heart grow much, much fonder.

Though I do sometimes worry about the distance, especially when our degrees are finished. Who says he will want to live here? Who says I will want to live there? Will we have to live somewhere in the middle? What if my job takes me even further north, or his even further south? What if he wants to teach english in a foreign country as a permament thing?

I try not to think of it, honestly, though this post perhaps suggests otherwise. It does crop up sometimes. I suppose we'll know when it happens, and there is no point in worrying about it now.

Well, suppose I'd better get studying... I guess...